I have lived most of my life in shame and emotional penury. I have only very rarely felt valuable, worthy, or deserving of anything good or wonderful. In the context of the magnetic (or holographic) universe, I, of course, have always attracted influences that reinforced that which I though myself to be. The next result of my learning and reinforcement has been such that I have always felt justified in feeling worthless and shitty – especially in feeling that I did not deserve any better. When something wonderful did happen, it was always overshadowed by the sense that I did not deserve it, or I would immediately taint the experience in some way (i.e., demeaning the value of my accomplishment, or slopping gravy on my brand-new silk tie).

What has developed in more recent years is gratitude. Being grateful for my life, my life experiences, my suffering – ultimately for each and every experience I have had that has shaped and enriched me – has given me numerous opportunities to mourn my losses and grieve my past. This process has allowed me to “clear the decks,” as it were, making room for new growth. It is only through letting go of the past that I have managed to stay alive (i.e., not commit suicide) in the face of the otherwise overwhelming mass of decimating negative data and the encumbering weight of my own heartfelt invalidation and unworthiness.

Greed Addiction

I believe that the addiction to greed is the most pervasive and least discussed addiction on the planet. If one were to ask 100 people what single thing would improve their lives, the greatest majority would give some form of answer relating to money. Because, for most people, acquiring more money means having more power, more ability to control and manipulate the world, an increased sense of well-being related to an enhanced ownership of material goods and command of services. Usually though, the acquisition of more money is seen or felt to give an increased sense of self-esteem, as if having more money would make one a better person.

An addiction is a sort of self-replicating virus that once set in motion needs no further inducement to replicate. In this it is linked to the idea of ideological hegemony. If one can be induced into believing that a particular action is beneficial (or even self-serving, if not beneficial; or that one deserves to participate or indulge in such an action or substance), then one will repeat it without further induction or reinforcement. In fact, it will likely become self-reinforcing, even if the action or substance may ultimately be viewed as self-destructive or harmful. One will continue to use even if one “objectively” notes the destructiveness; because the addiction is taking place, is living, as it were, on an emotional level. No amount of cogitation or intellectual discourse will ever effect a lasting change. (The intellectual understanding of addiction only makes it more frustrating in some ways because one believes one may [delusionally] believe that one may think one’s way out of it. I use the word “delusionally” purposefully because one may develop a fixed idea that one may think one’s way out when all indicators are to the contrary. Indeed, the intellectual understanding of addictions should rightly only come long after one has successfully stopped the using, and has some relatively long period of abstinence. It is then that the intellectual understanding may become useful in giving a context to what one has already experienced and hopefully begun to integrate.

And what better “business” to be in for a profit-oriented organization (all the way up to and including the corporate state) than one in which one’s adherents willingly consume whatever product they are hooked on, do not question the origin of the addiction itself, and will actually pay money to one in order to maintain it? This is the “perfect plan” that is being executed by the US Government and its ties to large corporations, especially banks. Such horrendous activities as the bailout of the savings and loans in the 1980s and the bailout of the major banks in the 2000’s are just typical examples of the utter bamboozlement and addiction of the American people who have stood still and been raped repeatedly while being told that what is occurring is for “our own good.”

The process of being blinded begins with socialization, wherein one is taught through repeated instruction to abandon one’s own autonomy and put one’s faith in external authority; to vest one’s decision making in the outer, the other; and to forego one’s questioning of authority in order to be further wrapped in the dubious blanket of “security.” One is taught from the very beginning that one’s parents (and other adults) have one’s own best interests in mind – and that one must surrender one’s will and one’s desires, interests and opinions in order to bask in this pseudo-certainly of collective will manifesting through authority figures who represent the system as a whole. It is rarely, if ever, revealed that these seemingly sterling citizens are simply furthering their own self-interests while ostensibly serving as representatives of the “people’s power.” An entire disinformation system (much of it hidden under the aegis of “national security”) has become devoted to convincing people of the massive lies and misinformation being fed to us, in order that we might blindly keep working and feed the system. Meanwhile, the cultural elites bask in ever greater sunshine and personal resources. These cultural elites further delude themselves in the belief that they have a divine right to rule and control vast resources because they were born to money or power. This is, in fact, the social Darwinist position.